Hood

I've just discovered the band Hood... fucken amazing music.
Gotta credit Alan with exposing me to this, hes also responsible for getting me into the notwist. Three cheers for lofi, indy meets idm!

::Listening to - Hood (duh!)::

Patch Gallery?

A couple of months ago I was talking to Scott Sinclair about the idea of having an exhibition of artist's patches. I really like the idea. I think that the layout of patches can say alot about the programmer. It would be an exhibition of systems.

::Listening to - Liars | Nothing Is Ever Lost Or Can Be Lost My Science Friend::

not all is fucked

Like sunsets. They are okay.
Yes, we can live on sunsets - they make a delicious treat.

Aw god I'm hungry... haven't been paid in about 5 weeks. I did a job on the weekend, but that was paid for with a cheque- so I have to wait another couple of days before I get to eat properly. A big thank you to Ben and Alison for feeding me over the last couple of days. I wish I could say I'm getting used to being poor and not eating.

Wanted to get high to take my mind off things- but that seemed a bit desperate. Just a few spots would be nice though. Sometimes I wish drugs were free, and not addictive, but thats a bit like wishing for world peace.

I had a really interesting conversation with Alison the other day about my drug use from last year. Until I had actually said it out loud, I had no idea just how far off the planet I really was. I seemed to have a very cosy relationship with speed to help my studies; about an 8ball or two a week. I went a fairly psychotic and I strongly suspect that I had quite an addiction going there.
When I stopped studying, I also lay off the speed for a little while... I then went nuts, totally unhinged. I thought this was just a nervous breakdown (as did the doctors)... but now I wonder if it was a symptom of stopping a habit so abruptly.
I do think I had alot on my plate: Honours, Break-up, Linear Morphea, EF amongst others - but that is really no excuse really.

I should really apologise here for anybody that I offended, burnt or just harrased over that stage of my life. I also feel very sorry for all of those people that I used and abused, those that I broke their hearts with my erratic behaviour. I know I left a bit of a trail of destruction. Sorry.

And a big fuck you to those people that fucked me over while I was vunerable. Some of that stuff was totally cold. And for those who thought you could buy me- fuck you too... you'll never get your money back anyway.

Better?
Yes, Better.

Getting it back together, slowly.

::Listening to - Smog | I was a stranger::

Musical musings

I've been playing around with the violin recordings from the other day. Basically I am working on a new and strange track, pretty much unlike anything I have done before.
Now I neeeeed some feedback/suggestions. I have temporarily dumped a fairly high quality mp3 online for your listening pleasure:

http://users.bigpond.net.au/jasperstreit/images/proggy128kbps.mp3

I know the intro sucks a bit - I'm going to clean it up next.

::Listening to - N/A::

The sound of violins

Cutting up some of the violin recordings I did with Alison this week. I think there is some gold in there, I'm having alot of fun hacking the sound into abstraction. At the moment it is sounding very filmic, lots of emotive cues, very nice.

I think she is a keeper....

::Listening to - well, my recordings::

Lost Memory

Do you remember this day?? When I dragged you into our studio and make you sing one of the worst songs we have ever written? I remember that we didn't use your vocals anyway, for which you were a mixture of relieved and offended. Who took this photo? I don't really know anymore.
You were always the one holding the camera... I was always the one holding the microphone, we must have swapped on this day.

I found this picture of you by accident - its a nice photo, I hope you are doing okay these days.

::Listening to - Traffic on Abercrombie St::

Pissin' in the wind

This is one of those moments that you see something that really ought to be unsightly transcend its form into something beautiful. I took these happy snaps in the toilet of a pub.

I think there is a nice little philosophical edge to this.

Thank goodness that we live in such a media tech focused world where we have such easy access to cameras, even when pissing.

::Listening to - The Microphones | Headless Horseman::

Ever been called a CamSlut?

This one is for you.

::Listening to - Tv On The Radio | New Health Rock::

Call me...

Call me. I just can't seem to get this soundtrack off the ground. Call me. I think I need to record you- even if it's just for inspiration. Call me. See? You have become both my muse and my distraction. Call me. I can't remember how to book the studio. Call me. I think I've lost my password, but I still have my ID, so fuck it. Call me. We'll get a bottle of wine and some drugs and spend the night in there. Call me. I hate this project. Call me. I hate myself. Call me. I want to move to Japan Call me. Pick me up and we'll go there now.

::Listening to - The Microphones | I'll Be in the Air::

I think you're crazy... maybe

(In Hospital again)

Red wine and sleeping pills
Help me get back to your arms
Cheap sex and sad films
Help me get where I belong
I think you're crazy, maybe
I think you're crazy, maybe
Stop sending letters
Letters always get burned
It's not like the movies
They fed us on little white lies
I think you're crazy, maybe
I think you're crazy, maybe
I will see you in the next life
Beautiful angel
Pulled apart at birth
Limbless and helpless
I can't even recognize you
I think you're crazy, maybe
I think you're crazy, maybe
I think you're crazy, maybe
I think you're crazy, maybe
I think you're crazy, maybe
I think you're crazy, maybe
I will see you in the next life

::Listening to - Radiohead | Motion Picture Soundtrack::

$12 is a good price

Bought some new shoes which cost me a whole $12. I think they are fucking ugly and I am pretty certain that they might not be considered the height of fashion- but hey, at that price; i don't care.

::Listening to - humm of tech::

Ouch

Fuck you Doctors for sticking eight needles in my chin!

::Listening to - Queens of the Stone Age | If Only::

Or so they say...

I think I need a new lamp this one is ugly (photo by me)

I was a strange kid at school. Always very shy, always that bit different.
My earliest memory of it are from Illinois; lunch time, they serve us carrots and dip. Each bowl of dip is shared between about 8 children. We are eating when I 'double dip' one of my carrots. My American peers start to screech 'he double dipped!!! He double dipped!!!' - at which point the teacher storms over, grabs the bowl of dip and dumps the whole thing in the bin. Apparently it was 'contaminated' and we could not possibly risk those childeren eating my germs. I sat at the table, a confused swiss boy, surrounded by a pack of brash noisy monsters.

I could not stay at any one school in Illinois, although I always was softly spoken and polite, I just could not handle any of my peers. I don't think I made any friends in America. I basically moved schools on a regular basis until I moved back to Switzerland.

I was never lonely though.
My imagination seems somewhat inherently linked to my feet. When I walk, my mind walks with me. It journeys through a landscape of fiction and fantasy. Because of the paranoia of things like stranger-danger, I would not walk out of our properties perimiters. Rather I would walk around, like a caged tiger, in circles in our 'safe' backyard.
I dreamt great stories during my walks, often speaking the dialogue of the characters out loud (which resulted in many embarassing moments when we had visitors).

It sounds really insane, but it was a fantastic and creative way for a feral vegetarian kid who had neither the luxury of television or friends to make some entertainment. I still go for a long walk when I'm feeling uninventive.

I remember that the only thing (apart from art & music) that I was ever really good at in school was when we had creative writing tasks. When they asked for a page-long story, I would give them six. Man, I blitzed those tasks, getting more star stickers on that one assignment than I had for all my other subjects over a year.

Somewhere along the way I forgot my dream.

I am now trying to get back into the art of writing stories. I have been writing stories in secret for a couple years now. Most of these end up being deleted, having never been seen by other people's eyes. My stories are now alot more dark and well, jaded. I am writing a story that I feel really into that I have for the first time, extracted real life people into characters for. I have thusfar refused to give out the plot to anybody really. Though I'm daring to say that I feel this might make it to something resembling a novel.

One of my great dreams when I was young was to become a writer. The say that there is a book inside of us all.

::Listening to - The Pixies | Debaser::

Spinner

Now this is cool.
Look at the right hand side project 'spinner'. Its basically a spinning top with a row of LEDs that react to sound. As the top spins, the LEDs make pretty patterns. (yay)

Two movies of it in action:
http://www.mr-jones.org/ekit/movs/spinner-final-1.mov
http://www.mr-jones.org/ekit/movs/spinner-final-2.mov

I can't help but think of how much more interesting sports like hockey would be if they would only use pucks with LEDs on them. Hell, they could put in the kinetic system to power the batteries as the players whacked it across the field.

::Listening to - Postal Service | Give Up (album)::

En Coupe De Sabre

Going to RPA this coming tuesday for another round of sub-dermal corticosteroids.

Wooohooo!

Basically what happens is that they put me in something that resembles a dentist's chair and stick about 9 needles into my chin, pumping this goop in there that will sit there for the next 4 weeks. Process is repeated every 4-6 weeks. The injections dont really hurt that much - not many nerves in the area I guess. Though afterwards, the left hand side of my face swells and I feel like I have been kicked in the face by a mule.
The upside is that my sister works at RPA hospital, so I'll go and have some coffee with when I have a watermelon face.

I tried to photograph the affected area, a bit awkward really. I'm a bit hairy at the moment- mostly because I am completely lazy, but also because I want to see if this new treatment is helping at all. After all, the biggest sign of my Linear Morphea is the hair loss that occurs before it scars. Basically the affected bit is where you see a patch of my beard missing. What doesn't show in the photo is the strange lines which look like long razor cuts that sweep across the face.


I like the way the French call this condition 'en coupe de sabre' which translates to 'a cut of the sword'... nice.

::Listening to - Venetian Snares | Winter In The Belly Of A Snake (yes, the whole album)::

Little Boy

Image from 'Remembering Nagasaki'

A moment to remember those from the only country in the world to be the victim of a nuclear strike.

"I ran back home crying my mother's name. Wandering around, I heard the voice of my elder sister calling my name. I was astonished to see her standing covered with blood. I looked at myself, and saw the skin of my hands and legs peeled and hanging down. I started crying again in fear."

-Mr. Masatada Asaeda (at 15 - 6 years after 'Little Boy')

Inspecting the aftermath of Hiroshima and Nagasaki is utterly harrowing. 60 years on (Hiroshima was today, Nagasaki is on the 9th) we still have nuclear weapons pointed at each other.

::Listening to - Fennez | Endless Summer::

A cross to bear

I'm not actually christian, I've just crossed myself out!

::Listening to - Rachel's | cuts the metal cold::

Pan and Loathing

Took this picture of a pan I was cleaning out... it looked kinda cool as I scraped patterns into it. Photo is blurry, I know. (really wish I had a good eye for photography)

Had an intense conversation with Ben as I was washing up the kitchen. There was a point where he suggested that I don't actually have anything in my life I really care about at the moment. In a way I think he's right, which really destroys me. This year I have had no real artistic drive or desire. It seems like I have fallen into this hole that I can no longer haul myself out easily.
Blah. Its just a low point I suppose - I'll call it post-degree burnout, eh?

On another tangent, went to an auction warehouse today with Alison. She was in one of her sparky manic moods, which I really enjoyed. It kind of reminded me of the reasons why Joel from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind was so infatuated with Clementine - she was that extroverted side that Joel did not really posess in himself. I really respect and like Alison for being so vibrant and creative.

::Listening to - Yeah Yeah Yeahs | Modern Romance::

8am Werrington

Went out to UWS today to sign my contract. I was there at 8am beacuse of who I was carpooling with. This picture is of me looking at the fields behind the library, blue mountains in the background. Such a desolate campus, though like the desert - strangely inspirational.

::Listening to - Felix Da House Cat | Madame Hollywood::

Hmmm, just weird I guess.

Sometimes I just think that the world is just a really strange place.

::Listening to - the fan of my cpu, the cycles of my harddisk, the tapping of my keyboard::

Blue Sparks

This is a drawing I found recently done by a girl that I was in a relationship with for just under seven years. I met her when I was sixteen or seventeen - I was still in high-school. We were a couple that everyone assumed would last forever, as did we.
Throughout last year we completely broke each other's hearts and lives. I was diagnosed with linear morphea and was doing honours, writing and teaching the first year music technology course - not a good time for divorce.
I think the biggest reason why this picture resonates with me is that you'll notice I have these blue sparks emanating from my chin- in the exact position where four years later I would show the first signs of an incurable disease, i.e. I now have the linear morphea scars there.

Incredible insight or serendipity?

::Listening to - Grand Salvo | Bend In The River::

I like 2D

The world should be flat not round.

::Listening to - The Microphones | I Felt Your Shape::

Interpol

Went to see Interpol for free last night with Alana. Was very drunk. Don't remember much of it at all. Woke up with a bunch of random pictures, including one of me spinning a wheel of fortune... I'd love to know where on earth I found that.

::Listening to - Joanna Newsom | Swansea::